Josefina cut corners trying to emulate her hero. Turns out the $25 special at an Islamic plastic surgeon isn't the high ticket item originally thought. Now she's gotta live the rest of her life looking like Tim Burton's asshole LOL
Sorry hungry pedestrians living below the poverty line. Her sexual desires > your iced coolatta. Could someone please email me the news story when she gets caught pissing into the cappuccino machine? I'd appreciate it.
Not since The Mannetard have I seen such an intense level of misogyny. (this month) Unfortunately there's no followup story... but what it lacks in explanations, it makes up for in semi-orgasmic zombie moaning.
This is Mariah Leonne. She's already been on here a few times doing the exact same shit... but this circus act is more dangerous than the others. 2 words lady: SUPER AIDS. Start vetting the guys, or get the GoFundMe ready.
Amateur porn that looks professional, professional porn that looks amateur, anal opportunists and expert magicians... we've seen it all man. The only thing left to complete this circle is unadulterated misogyny. oh wait...
This guy has a unique style. It's 1 part Tom Savini, 17 parts Jeffrey Dahmer. If any of you are the betting type, I've got the entire 3rd season of The Martin Lawrence show on VHS that says those snatch flies @ 0:16 mark are legit.
This trashbag's got a plan that guarantees airtime on Maury Povich. She times it just right so when it's time to spread the marmalade, dude has no choice but to shoot below the waist. My cousin Vinny calls that entrapment.
The one time incestual storylines involve a believable girl... and she's getting fondled by a real life version of Shrek. p.s. welcome back NothingToxic.com. My 2004 AOL away messages have missed your beautiful face. #nostalgia
Only 60 seconds into her movie debut, and this DTF-GF is already 86'ing the entire thing. Undoubtedly to keep her name credible in the community and around all things pumpkin spice-flavored. Talk about high-maintenance.
FFS: if you're gonna pay top dollar to rent desperate college girls, you might as well get a finger wet. Then again... when Home Depot is the source of your libido, maybe you've already done all the cummin you can do. Carry on.
Okay I lied. It's not a torturegasm, nor is this as 'public' as they want you to think it is. Good thing she's dressed like Shakespeare in the fuckin' Park cause this is going to be my most fridge boner of the day. I guarantee it.
Another game-changing, chromosome-challenging, boner-flatlining, stereotype-enforcing performance by the one and only woman of a thousand emotions Lucie Wilde. One day the ACLU will put a stop to this.
Girl suffering from the initial stages of Cobweb Vaginosis recklessly solicits strangers on all social media platforms. The problem? 10 outta 10 guys peace out before getting trapped in her ocoto-pus. Then, there's this guy...
This is called Taking a Swedish Bike Ride. It happens when those dudes with above-average girth fail lubrication preparation. So they pump harder... til a breaking point hits. Somewhere between the 3rd & 4th second degree burn.
The long anticipated sequel to this gem, or gang initiation? I don't know, but maybe my logic is flawed to begin with: If it's not going in through the top, it probably has no business going in through the bottom ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
She's got Maybelline's bolt-on tits and doesn't give a fuck. They flirt, they grope, they jerk off like the Titanic is going down. Shit's goin good... till u realize it's just some Buzzfeed journalist living out a feminist wet dream.
She may be short on words, but those facial expressions definitely tell a story. Specifically 'this is my life now', 'i hope i get Instagram followers' and my favorite: 'why do i fuck like a piece of expired celery?'. P.S. NICE ASS
It's all fun n' games until your pre-planned window of jack off time gets commandeered. Humiliation hits these tards like a sac of Power Rangers VHS tapes, but some of them refuse to quit. Essentially redefining 'integrity'.
Here's a few staple rules to live your life by: 1) Don't copy what you see on the Internet. 2) Never stick your baby carrot in crazy. Both situations tend to have the same lopsided risk/reward ratio attached to the them. #warned