He gets the 'ok' to go Sonic Hedgehogo on prime MILF after being PAID by her husband. A legit pussy slayer for hire. Another 1 of those college courses that should be offered right next to underwater basket weaving.
Ever wonder how these overachiever college students take 73 credits while pulling double shifts at Cracker Barrel? Spoiler: They all do drugs. Usually followed by casual humping. Cocaine + TINDER = this 4.0 GPA'r.
Skip the trailer for MTV's next show and scroll right to 1:46. That's when Becky II realizes being on her back in the front yard is comfortable territory, and unleashes a kick that sends Becky I leaking to the orthodontist.
Homeboy's packing nothing more than the average McNugget, so how did this happen? Accident? Medical condition? Previous sexual partners being all 9 members of the Harlem Globetrotters? We need answers dammit.
Wait for it...
She rises from a crack den, to offer up her snagglepuss to a crowd of confused Generation Z'rs. The bread's at full yeast, but those titties still look perky. I'd close my eyes and just pretend it's Selena Gomez's asshole.
Dude tries to sneak one up his GF's sinus canal, but she ain't having it. His approach may be weak but those are the wads of a true alpha male. Not even her attempts at a penile full nelson stops them from entering flight.
LIFE LESSON #428: If your name ends in Gomez, Garcia or Gonzales - keep the braces in your mouth and stay the fuck away from this guy. The 50 pesos paycheck is temporary. A disfigured esophagus is forever, BROTHER.
There's a pretty thin line between 'i only date guys taller than me', and being sodomized by the Jolly Green Giant. Where that line actually is... I don't know. But I can tell you Petra Dinklage over here just crossed it.
Geico Gecko crashes a BLM movement, but Tilisha aint have dat shit. talk about racism. #LIZARDLIVESMATTER
Is this real? Absolutely not. But does it make getting through all 97 1/2 minutes of any given Adam Sandler motion picture possible? It's 100%, definitely a maybe.
Skip to the 7:25 mark and pay close to attention to the artifacts of yestercock. Calling him BETA MALE OF THE CENTURY is the compliment of a fucking lifetime. To all dairy connoisseurs of Inhumanity: You've been warned.
You know your stock is circling the drain when the number one flirtation tactic in your arsenal involves a closed fist, and the finest douchebro tanktop in the Macy's 50% off bin. PS: Keep skipping leg day phaggot.
There's a pretty good reason why this pic is taken from the neck up. A pretty damn good reason indeed. Three whole U.S. dollars and all the Burger King hotdogs you can eat if you even come close to guessing what it is.
So, what jackass thought it was a good idea to Windows Movie Maker the soundtrack of a Sailor Moon episode onto this? If you can afford an aboriginal, you can afford Adobe Premier. 0 stars you disorderly fuck.
Sorry aspiring gynecologists of America, his animosity for the cervix > your safety warnings. Could someone please email me when they get real adventurous & she ends up impaled by a pool noodle? I'd appreciate dat.
Buttsex is buttsex, I don't discriminate. But I bet you 5 buckaroos that this scallywag had no idea there was an upside to it. I can literally see her slowly transforming from :| to :D with every uppercut to the pancreas.
2 beers turn this rookie into the Jim Lahey of live-in girlfriends. First, she attempts to mark the futon, then she moves to the kitchen to deposit her wonderpuss. I think Budweiser just found itself it's new spokeswoman.
NO CHILL: Defined as: At this particular moment you’re being overly reckless. Also known as the reason why bullying, obesity and Kanye West run wild on society.