Talk about bait and switch. Listen Riku, when it comes time to blow my hanukkah nickles on backpage.com, the last thing I want my mouth on is more udders than pregnant Jack Russel Terrier. Nip/Tuck that shit, kthx.
Intercourse: It's pretty simple stuff. But for Goober McBallbag, it might as well be mission impossible. Not even after 5 consecutive attempts at penetration does he get close to vaginal satisfaction. Lawd have mercy.
Make Japan great again.
Other working titles: ‣ The Tramp that Runs the Camp ‣ Spaghetti House Sneak Attack ‣ Yeast Mode
Scope 6:53: The thing u see on this douche-a-roonie's cock is called beading. Defined as: Body modification to boost sexual stimulation, and increase right-swipes on GRINDR. Dude straight up bedazzled his pork sword.
Is this a real 'bring your daughter to work day' vid? Not with HER attitude. If you want us to believe the family picnic is real, despair is a prerequisite. Same goes for moisturizer and the Aladdin soundtrack. GET 'ER DUN.
I really hate posting standard fap vids, but it's the end of the year and this happens when the spank banks run dry. May this illustrious ass hold us over until the next documented sodomy happens at the Pokemon factory.
Dude's got a knack for tossing sauce... and apparently he's been stockpiling for a week 'cause even a certified cocksmith wasn't expecting to put in overtime hours today. Not much of a talker, but she sure can squawk!
...and by 'drunk' I mean one socially-deficient girl losing all vertical ability after hammering down 1.5 Coronas. The only thing missing is the token fat friend trying to drag her out, and someone screaming 'Y0 WURLSTAR'.
My gut instinct tells me this guy's basement being free of dead bodies is about as probable as Kanye West being president in 2020... but I do find his no-filter approach to breaking the ice compelling. Thoughts?
James Randi said it couldn't be done. Man vs. Wild won't do an episode on it. But thanks to Alexis Perez we now have solid proof that if your clitoris has been neglected by daddy long enough, anything is possible.
Bombin Jager x100
The 'celeb' section gets less action than a transgender feminist faking menstrual cycles during a monster truck rally. If these skankaroonies don't start making better use of their genitals, I might shitcan the entire thing.
This tart is a total tramp, but her talents aren't limited to crossing sexual preferences. Get a solid view of that anus and you'll be treated to the all you can eat brown buffet: 2 words Samantha: BUTT BLEACH. Run wit that.
This might kill any engineering fantasies you might have once had. BUT, it will also peak your curiosity at how rounds the human vagina can go w/ Floyd Mayweather.
At first I was like cool, another fake vid I'm subjecting my tube sock to. I was convinced... up until all 24 yrs of bad decision making washed over her in half a sec. You can't fabricate that kind of embarrassment. #HOT
Good taste in women (sluzzas). Poor taste in marriage material. 2 words homie: Martial Arts. Join the rest of the evolved population and pick up a hobby that won't end in a burning urethra, you repugnant, betamale fuck
OHHH BABY A TRIPLE
This is standard Asian 'i cant reach your g-spot with my cock, might as well do your makeup' syndrome. Fortunately, radical science has gifted us with Extenze penis enlargement pills. Save up dem fortune cookies.