LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Three years of forcing porn producers to scotch guard everything in a 2 mile radius was no problem. But 60 secs of churning butt butter? Game fucking over. Ladies and gents: I present you the enigma of Asian whores.
I'm thinking it might be best if she steered clear of all things vagina-related for the next few days. Only two things should cause that kind of convulsion, and I don't see electricity or Wesley Snipes anywhere in this video.
These dudes must've gotten tired of being banned from commercial transportation, and decided to turn their attention to the next best thing: cornhole warfare. GG
Barbie Doll Bimbo does the unforgivable: Takes a double serving of gluten-free protein to the face in public. But instead of it coming from her main squeeze, the dairy gets delivered from Josè & Josè. I vote public hanging.
5 secs. That's how long it takes for 1 order of mango shrimp to cannonball it's way out of my body, and back to the ocean. It's also the amount of time it takes the poster girl for "LOLIDGAF" to give her seal of approval.
There's only 2 things I value in life more than quilted toilet paper. One involves napalm and celebrity home tours. The other is sexually frustrated women giving less than a fuck in public. Today I get 1 wish granted.
If only he put as much effort in his camera equipment, as he did in forcing volcanic yogurt explosions, maybe we wouldn't be jacking off to Sega CD-quality full motion video right now. Up your game motherfucker.
From this angle it looks like dude is having sex with an eggplant. But after hearing this chunker bitch up more of a storm than a black woman getting short changed at Golden Corral, I have been convinced otherwise.
Zero dialogue,passive aggressiveness out the wazoo, and an egg bag that requires a hairnet. Something tells me going 2 vs 1 with all 2.5 inches of Tojo's little bo peep wasn't exactly in first position on the bucket list.
You ever actually make it to the end of Alien 3 and see the stomach-bursting scene? Me neither. But if they ever made an XXX spinoff with a black gentleman hung like Samuel L. Jackson, it might look something like this.
deflated hacky sacs tits look pretty seasoned for a 19-year-old girl. That aside, I give this a cordial 4.5 boners up. Basically the hottest thing I've seen since The Canyons with a freshly rehabbed Lindsay Lohan.
As if coming home to a dinner plate full of rice and fried octopus anus wasn't bad enough, Dik tu Small has to lay the smackdown on a woman that isn't content with a single spring roll. The hardships of the working man.
Fat tits gravity has no effect on? Zero gag reflex? More than 73% female? She nailed all 3 check boxes on my wife list. Out of the way gentleman, me and the $18 I have left on this IHOP gift card will take it from here.
Gotta like how amateur sex taping has rapidly evolved from basic vaginal perforation, into WHO CAN GIVE MY GIRLFRIEND AN STD 1ST. I can't even consider it porn. This is a stranger danger public service announcement.
1:00 A.M. lunch break goes from puffin cigs, to toying the tuna torpedo, as Pam Beesly all but guarantees this brodudeski's hotel stay results in a 5-star YELP review.